Amnesia
by sharonroslin
Summary: This story doesn't take place at any specific moment. Sure is post Shandy dating but nothing specific. Sharon gets injured on the fields and the people around her need to help remembering everything of her. I own none of the characters or names. Thanks to Narcissanerea, gingersnapped907 & Kadi219 for beta-reading this. I'd love to read your reviews, feel free to PM me or comment.
1. Chapter 1

_Lights_. And _sounds_. And more lights. That's all she could feel. It was all too confused and all too much obfuscated. She heard fast and loud voices questioning, and someone replying but wasn't clear who the voices belonged to. A man, that she could understand. The same man who was holding her hand. All the rest was a dark hole in her mind. Someone asked "What is your name, Ma'am?" but she didn't know how to answer…

"Sharon" she heard the man saying "Her name is Sharon". That voice had something familiar she couldn't recall.  
The ride was not long and finally she understood that it was a hospital they were running to and she was in an ambulance. So she must have been injured, but where? Slowly pieces of the puzzle started to attach into her head, but still the figure from the box wasn't that clear for her.

After hours of tests and more questions to which she couldn't reply, she was finally left in a room to rest. She heard doctors from afar speaking and vaguely understood words like _concussion_ and _broken ribs_ , but party in crime to the painkillers and that she couldn't see other than blurred figures moving, Sharon closed her eyes to rest.

"Good morning" she heard from a nice lovely voice. Sharon opened her eyes to a nurse who was checking her vitals and questioning again her name, the date, the president. She recalled the man calling her Sharon in the ambulance, but the date wasn't a sure thing, neither was the president.  
"You've visitors but please," she turned to see the people coming in "Do not stress too much, you need to rest and be quiet" the nurse went away smiling to her.  
Sharon was confused by all the faces, she couldn't remember who they were, but they all seemed to know her and be smiling happily that she was doing okay… sort of. Her head was bandaged and at the easiest move she felt her ribs creak and a lot of pain coming after.

Next to her sat a young boy, blonde hair and his eyes were all red from crying. "Are you okay?" was her first question by instinct "I am… yes sure… I'm… just happy to see you're fine" his smile was unsure "That is sweet of you." she smiled back.  
There were so many people around, smiling and showing appreciation for her being cured and better, but she really could not remember a single name.  
At the end of the round of hand shaking and more weird smiles, time froze for a small amount of seconds which seemed years: a scent, only a scent captured her. "Don't make me worry like this again, okay?" that voice, the same that was in the ambulance with her, the same warm hands that were holding hers. He was whispering and kissing her forehead. There was something in him that was familiar and somehow calming, that made all her worries about not remembering any name or face go away, and somehow she thought that contact might have meant that they were something more than just friends?

The doctor came into the room announcing it with loud voice "How are we doing today?" he had a quick look around "If you're not part of the family I'm afraid I've to ask you to leave please".  
"I'm… I'm her son, can I stay" the young boy immediately stood up from the chair. So he was her son? And she had no memory of it? He must look like the father then, because she couldn't see much of herself in him. While everyone was leaving the room, the doctor started to explain a few things that came out from tests, confirming her broken ribs and concussion to her head "What we're experiencing here is also a little trace of a temporary a…." from the outside could be heard loud voices screaming of _Let me in_ "I'm her husband. Please. I'm her husband. Sharon… oh my God, what happened to you?" husband? So she had a husband? All the feelings she had before for the other man, the one that came with her in the ambulance, the one who held her hand every second and had reassuring words of comfort in her painful time, who was he?

All of a sudden many sounds distracted the doctor from finishing, her heartbeat started to run faster and she felt like breathing was becoming a really hard thing to do in that moment. "Everyone out… NOW!" the nurse closed the door behind her making everyone out.

"Jack… what is going on?" Andy burst "I don't know. They sent us out… she's… not breathing good… what the hell happened to her?"

Inside the room everything was confused and Sharon only heard people trying to calm her down, trying to figure out things, and finally giving her a sedative to put her to sleep. Slowly her heartbeat started to run again at normal pace as she fell asleep on the pillow again.  
The doctor came out to a crowd of worried people waiting for some words. "She had a panic attack. That's all that happened. She's stable and sleeping now, you should come back later. She'll be sleeping for few hours." he said. "Doctor, what is wrong with my wife?" Jack looked seriously worried to Rusty's opinion, but he learnt from Sharon that he was a real good magician at hiding his true colors until he needed something. He approached to listen. In a more quiet and whispered voice the doctor explained him what they found out from tests "Your wife must have hit her head pretty badly. She's suffering a temporary memory loss. Much of what was in her past life is gone for her. It's not too severe status, but she will need all your help and much patience, for even the most simple thing in her mind has gone for now. Help her remember, photos, music, recreate situations.. it will help her recovery but it will be slow and sometimes also painful to the both of you." he left Jack and Rusty to their own thoughts. They both were thinking the same thing, but none of the two said a word: how could Jack be of help to Sharon to remember things when he hadn't been in her life for far too long he could even remember what was their last memory together?

Rusty went closer to the group of people waiting for an answer, leaving Jack behind as it was his duty, as the grown up of that duo, to give the unpleasant news they just heard.  
"The doctor said that… Sharon… she must have hit her head hard and…" he was hesitating trying to give out the news to Andy in the most easy way possible for him not to freak out. "Rusty!?" Andy raised his voice.  
"She has amnesia…"

The _silence_ jumped into the hall. So silent it could hear all their hearts beating with feelings for the news.


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks to_ _ **Kadi219**_ _and_ _ **Narcissanerea**_ _both for beta-reading this and helping me to understand a lot of things I didn't know. And also for the patience with my mistakes._

 _Also thanks to everyone for reviews and sticking with me. Again I'm sure there will be mistakes and it's all my fault, but it's not my first language and I'm doing this for fun. So bare with me, I'm still learning._

After few days in the hospital, meeting with people she had no memory of and doing more and more tests, it was finally time to go back home. She felt excited to be free of the confines of the hospital, but feared not being able to recognize her own things. At times the amnesia was really exhausting and frustrating, but on the other hand, it was helping her discovering things she might just have taken for granted.

Walking through the door of her condo filled her with weird sensations. It felt like she knew the place already and yet found herself in some place that did not seem to be her style. She walked through the entrance slowly looking around and stopped at a framed picture "These are our children, Emily and Ricky. Well, Richard but we all call him Ricky" said Jack just entering with her bags.

"Hey mom" came a voice from down the hall. Sharon looked and saw the cute guy of the hospital.

"Hey, it's Rusty, right?" he nodded hugging her.

"So we have three kids and two are not living here with us?" She questioned, holding the frame in her hands.

"Yes, Emily lives in New York and Ricky is in Palo Alto, but they come visit when they can. Can't stay away from their parents too long, I guess" Jack put down the bags and moved to the kitchen. Rusty rolled his eyes to at his words. He knew Jack was lying and didn't care to put false information into her head. The doctors made sure to explain that Sharon had to live in a free-stress environment and recommended slowly giving her tiny bits of information in order to make her brain start to remember, rather than telling everything about her life at once.

When they left the hospital the nurse gave Sharon a prescription for painkillers the she could take if she became overwhelmed by. The nurse had also scheduled a few appointments in the upcoming days with a psychologist to her channel the maelstrom of thoughts and memories running chaotically through her mind.

"So what do you want for lunch?" Jack asked "There's nothing in the fridge" he closed the door and turned where he stood. His frustration was obvious. "Kid, what have you been doing all morning?"

"Sorry Jack, I tried to make the house look decent after the mess that you made in just one night"

Sharon was surprised to hear the young man calling him by name, but she thought maybe he was attempting to better emphasize his sarcastic response by using his name, rather than calling him 'dad'.

"I'll go get some take-out food. Chinese?" Rusty grabbed his car keys from the small table at the entrance.

"Mexican. Sharon enjoys that better, don't you?" replied Jack looking at Sharon

"No she doesn't… and it also costs more! She enjoys Chinese more." said Rusty annoyed with Jack's constant attempts at misleading Sharon. This prompted a series of quick and sarcastic responses to one another as each of the two men tried to take the lead in how Sharon should be cared for and what she would prefer.

"Anything is fine with me, really. Just grab whatever you feel like, Rusty. Do you need money?" Sharon interrupted the exchange before it could become too heated.

"He has the money. He works, let him buy you lunch." Jack smiled at the boy with an arrogant grin.

Sharon walked towards the door with Rusty, "Thank you!" she said with a smile before closing the door. Coming back to the kitchen she looked at Jack "Why are you so hard on him? He was being nice. I'm sure he doesn't need you to-" she was interrupted by Jack snorting. "Look, if you are going to help me remember, then you also have to take a little more effort in being kind to him. I don't know what your problem is, but we can talk about it if you want. You're his father, he looks to you as a role model. Can you please be a little bit more patient with him? For me?"

"Okay" his reply was barely audible.

"Thank you. I'm going to take a shower and get changes while he is gone, okay?" Sharon already felt exhausted and needed to relax.

"Well, if you need help scrubbing your back…" his look was naughty and he tried to kiss her.

"For the moment, I'd prefer to keep a certain distance, if you don't mind. All I know about you is that your name is Jack and that we have three kids. I'm trying to get used being married. We can go slowly, right? I'm not going anywhere, anyway!" she smiled taking a step back from him.

He watched her walking to the bathroom, not responding to her request.

When Sharon came out of the shower, feeling refreshed, she noticed that he hadn't even set the table. "I thought you were going to set the table?" she questioned gently.

"The doctor said you have to learn to do everyday things again, so I thought you'd do it and find out where things are."

It seemed like an excuse for not doing it, but she had to admit he might not be wrong and she did need to learn the little things first to live her daily life. She started to explore around to find the tablecloth, napkins, cutlery and glasses. After searching for awhile she asked for his help. He was reading the newspaper on the sofa and stood up, exhaling loudly. After telling her where everything was she found the tablecloth and napkins but forgot where he said the cutlery was so she asked him again. She surely didn't expect him to get mad for her asking again.

When Rusty entered the door with the food he heard Jack raising his voice and calling her _stupid_ and accusing her of _not focusing_ , he immediately ran to the kitchen. "Hey! Get away from her!" Rusty began to yell too.

"It's fine Rusty, everything's fine. He's right. He has told countless times and I keep forgetting. It's alright, now I understand. Thanks, Jack and I'm sorry I bothered you." She moved towards Rusty to take the food "So, what did you get?" her smile was more sad than happy.

"Chinese" he eyed Jack harshly "I got your favorites, dumplings with steamed vegetables and mushrooms". Rusty put the bags on the counter and went to take off his jacket.

Lunch passed in near silence except when Sharon asked a question, trying to remember her children's names "I would like to call Emily and Richard later. I want to hear their voices, maybe it will help?" she asked.

"If they're not busy" Jack rudely replied.

"I'm sure they'll be happy to hear from you, mom!" Rusty said, countering Jack's rudeness.

Soon after they finished eating, Sharon felt the need to lay down and rest a bit, while Jack sat on the sofa watching TV, leaving Rusty to clean the table and dishes. When she woke up two hours later, Jack was still on that sofa, eating chips, and laughing at a movie, while Rusty had gone to his bedroom. She gently knocked on the door. "May I?" she asked. Rusty welcomed her in. She closed the door behind her and sat at the end of the bed. "Look. I know that you and your father have-" she was interrupted immediately.

"He's not my father." Sharon looked at him and he realized he was confusing her "I was adopted" he clarified.

"Oh, so you're not biologically ours?"

"No, you adopted me two years ago!"

"Okay, so Emily and Ricky are our children and Rusty is adopted. Alright, understood!" she smiled "Anyway, we live under the same roof and he's older than you. I know you didn't do anything bad before, but can you please try to be more patient with him? It's not easy to deal with him, I realize but… it would be nice to be in a calmer environment. Do you think you can do this thing, for me?" she asked him the same thing she had asked Jack, feeling quite certain that it would have had a better result with Rusty. She wasn't sure why, it was a strong feeling nonetheless.

Rusty seemed to want to argue, but he took a deep breath instead "Okay mom, I will try… for you!"

Sharon smiled at him and gave him a kiss on the forehead before leaving the room, but when she reached the door, Rusty stopped her.

"Mom?" she turned "Just… don't always believe what he says". When he saw her nod, he went back to looking at his computer.

Those words made Sharon suspicious and she wondered what he meant by that. While she wanted to believe her own husband wouldn't lie to her, in the past couple of days and especially the last few hours, it seemed that Rusty was much more reliable than Jack.  
She went back to the living room where Jack was laughing loudly at the movie "May I?" she said smiling and pointing to the spot next to him. He nodded and she sat trying to get more comfortable with his presence next to her.

After the movie had finished Jack grabbed his jacket "I'm going out for a while" he didn't say where he was going or when exactly he was going to be back, leaving her sitting on the couch by herself.  
Rusty had left already an hour before to go to the library. She learnt in the past few hours that the kid was in college and during weekends he had a part-time job as a server at a nearby restaurant to save money. He was a good kid, very well educated, and diligent.

After few minutes of looking around, she spotted a photo album on the shelf underneath the TV and decided to have a look at it, to see if anything helped her memory. Looking through the photos she only saw faces she couldn't recognize. She spotted her children, now that she knew who they were, and Jack; but, then there were a lot of people who she supposed were siblings or relatives but she wasn't sure. It wasn't until she saw a group photo, in a place that she couldn't recognize, that she felt something familiar. There were two other women in the photo with her and she spotted Rusty too, as well as six men; she didn't recognize any of them except one. The one who was in the ambulance with her, whose voice reassured her during the ride to the hospital. He was smiling, standing right next to her, and again he was holding her hand.

All of a sudden the doorbell rang, distracting her from looking at the photo. Putting the album on the coffee table, she went to the door and opened it. Standing in front of her was a big bouquet of flowers and from behind it, appeared the man.

"Andy!" she smiled at him, realizing that he had never told her his name, but she remembered it.


	3. Chapter 3

"Yes, Andy. I must have made an impression on you." He was confident and smiling. He indicated to the door and asked "May I?"

Sharon smiled back as she said, "Sure, sorry come in! I… don't know how I remember your name, but I do. That's good, right?"

"Absolutely! Where can I put these?" Andy asked as he was standing in the foyer with flowers in his hands.

"Oh, let me," Sharon started looking around trying to find a vase to put them in "I have no idea where to find a vase" she smiled. They searched around for a while before finding a crystal vase to place it on the table. "They're really beautiful, Andy and they smell so good!" Sharon deeply inhaled the bouquet.

Andy was pleased to see her smiling and she surely looked much better than she had in the hospital. "So, how have you been the past few days?"

"Good, good. I'm making myself more comfortable around the house and with Rusty-" her voice faded away.

"And… Jack?" Andy questioned as he moved a chair from the table to sit down.

"It's... going. You want something to drink? We have beer, wine, water, or juice..." Sharon felt very uncomfortable speaking about her situation with Jack.

"What about a coffee?" it was clear to Andy that things were not good between Sharon and Jack but, he didn't want to push her talking about it. So he tried to move on to some small talk. "If I remember correctly, you are really good at making coffee"

"Oh I am, am I? Well, then I'm really going to have to try my best!". Talking with Andy was surprisingly easy for Sharon. She had no doubts with him, she wasn't scared of his reaction and just being around him was good and easy for her. Actually, it was very comfortable for her. "So. How is this coffee?" she teased.

Andy took slow drink from the warm cup in his hands and took a few seconds to act like he was deciding. "I have to say… it's the best you've made so far!"

Sharon smile grew at his words. "Well you know, it takes a real artistic inclination to.. you know, press a button!"

"Absolutely, depending on the intensity, you can make coffee or break the machine. It's a hard job!" he was sipping it slowly, giving her a smile with every sip. "So, what did I interrupt when I rudely showed up here unannounced?" he asked.

"You're not being rude, I am glad you stopped by. I was looking through a photo album, trying to remember something or even better, someone. There's so many people in there and I can't remember who they are." It was frustrating for her not being able to recognize the people in her life, and it wasn't easy hiding how disappointed she was with herself.

"Well, that's why I'm here! To help the _forgetful damsel_. I'm with the good guys, after all." He winked and showed her the badge. "Allow me" he moved to her side and gently wrapped his arm around her.

"So, you're a cop!" she said while walking to the sofa with him.

Andy nodded a yes and added "So are you. You're actually my boss, but we don't say it a lot around, we keep it discreet among us you know. People talk!" it made her burst into a laugh.

"Oh Andy, I really needed to laugh, thank you! A cop, huh? Well, that at least explains a photo of me in a cop uniform better than 'Halloween Costume' could!" They sat down on the couch "and what do we do?" she asked curiously.

"We solve crimes: murders, kidnappings, rapes" every word he said his tone became more serious, thinking of all the different brutal cases they had solved and gone through "and you, you also make sure that none of us go crazy. Like, I don't know, maybe plan on suffocating their partner because he's being a real ass by pushing to do things or just complaining all day; but, that's just an example!" he smiled at her again.

"Oh, and um… this partner is trying to push you to do something like…?" she was curious to learn what he was talking about

"Oh, nothing you should worry about. I'll wait until you come back before killing him, don't worry. Let's go back to your album, shall we?"

"Okay. Well, these are my children," she turned the page "and these are still my children and oh, look there's me!". Sharon said surprised to see her younger self. They went through a lot of photos of siblings, and parents, and other colleagues. Sharon also learned that she hadn't always been working with Andy. Apparently, she had worked in another department, which she commented 'must have been boring' and Andy agreed with her.

"Ah, this photo. This was the Christmas party we had!" Andy pointed at a group picture, "These guys are part of your team, well not all of them. This one is Assistant Chief Taylor, and this you know is Rusty, he doesn't work with us. This is Julio, Amy, and my partner Provenza. Tao, Doctor Morales and oh, this is Hobbs. She's the deputy district attorney and often works with our team." They repeated the names a few times more before she could remember them all. Once she could remember who they all were, Sharon wondered why Andy was holding her hand in the photo; but somehow in that moment she found very hard to get the words out. It was a very weird feeling, contrary to what she had been going through the whole afternoon next to him. She began to sweat and felt very uncomfortable.

"Everything all right, Sharon?" Andy asked worried.

"Yes, I should… I should make dinner. I also need to go to the grocery store because there's nothing to cook." Sharon quickly stood up as Andy was getting closer, starting to talk faster, and pretending to think about what she needed to cook for dinner. "But I don't have a car, or maybe I do but I don't know which one it is and I don't even know where the grocery store is, and Rusty and Jack don't want me to d-"

"Sharon, calm down! I'll drive you to the grocery store and we will buy whatever you need. But please, just relax." He took her hands in his and for a moment everything else disappeared.

"Andy, we are friends?" the words came out of her mouth and she didn't even know why she was whispering. The distance between them was enough to speak at a normal tone, but it seemed like she was going to confess a secret that no one else should hear.

"Yes good friends. Very good friends, Sharon!" Andy replied quiet, calm and smiling.

"Okay. I need to trust someone because… things are not clear to me and I need someone who will tell me the truth. Will you?" He nodded in response. Those words were making Andy a bit worried on what she would ask him. He couldn't just tell her about the lies Jack was spreading, but he also wanted her to be away from him as soon as possible. If he could he would have just given her a hug or a kiss, hoping she would remember something of their relationship. "Good! I'll go and get changed and we'll talk more on the way". She smiled back and disappeared in her room.

Something told Sharon that Andy was willing to be truly sincere with her and she felt she could trust him. She was sure it was the same with Rusty as well, but the boy seemed much more aggressive towards Jack than Andy was. What she needed at that moment was help understanding and figuring things out.  
While Sharon was getting dressed, Andy went over to the desk in the living room and tried opening the drawers. They were locked. "Son of a…" he was sure that their divorce paper where in there somewhere. Sharon was a very neat and organized person but Jack had to have locked them. He was sure of it.

When Sharon came out of her room, she looked different and much more relaxed in her jeans paired with a simple white t-shirt and a leather jacket. "Well, I was hoping for something more classic but this is good too" he said. She didn't even respond, just gave him a look and pointed to the door.

At the store, the way Andy did his shopping was fascinating to Sharon. There wasn't a list or a basic idea of what he wanted to cook and what he would need. He just threw items in his cart, whatever he liked.

"You didn't make a list?" asked Sharon.

"No, I'm full of surprises and I like to surprise myself too" he threw another thing in his cart.

"Your wife must love all this" she laughed.

"I don't have a wife anymore" he said seriously.

"Oh, I thought… I'm sorry!" Sharon felt like she said a big gaffe. He probably lost his wife and she was making him sad.

"I have a girlfriend. I think!" he smirked.

Sharon smiled as she asked, "You think? You're not sure if you have a girlfriend?"

"Yes well. We haven't defined our relationship but seen from the outside… others seem to see it as that," he tried to explain.

"Oh, I see! She's not jealous that you're spending your afternoon with me?" she teased.

Andy always did like to see the lighter side of Sharon. He was smiling as he said, "Oh I don't think so. You two are very close friends. Very intimate I would say! I think she really likes you."

"Then I'll need to meet my best friend and hopefully remember her when I see her" she joked but he moved away without saying anything. "Andy, I was joking. Did I upset you?"

"No, no. We need to hurry though if you want to get home and cook in time for dinner". He had stopped putting stuff into the cart and headed towards the checkout. The way back home was as silent and Sharon felt like she had said something wrong but she didn't understand what and was too nervous to ask, so she just sat there quietly.

"You need help with the bags?" she asked when they arrived at her home, wanting to help him carry the groceries.

"No, I got them!" he said, holding them all as they entered the condo. "I think I'll head out now" he said after quickly putting down the bags as if he was in a hurry to leave.

"Oh okay," she replied disappointed. "I thought you might stay and help, but if you have to go" Sharon silently admitted to herself that she didn't want to let him go. There was something between them that was making her want to stay close to him, something she couldn't explain. She wasn't sure if it was a feeling of friendship or more, but she felt comfortable around him, at least until that incident at the supermarket. Sharon took a chance and asked "Andy, if I said something that upset you please tell me because I don't understand what happened and I feel bad. If I made too many jokes about your girlfriend I'm sorry I didn't mean to…"

"You didn't, Sharon." Andy was having a hard time; he was trying to say what he wanted to say without actually coming out and saying it. "It's… I would like to tell you everything at once, but I can't. I'm willing to help you remember, I am; but, you have to forgive me if sometimes it seems like I go to the dark side because it's not easy for me too. Just know I'm trying to understand how to do this, okay?"

Sharon could tell there was more Andy wasn't telling her. "Okay but what's not easy for you? I'm the one who can't remember and there's something about you that I can't remember and hurts you?"

"Yeah, sort of, but it's my job to help you remember that and I will. I promise I will." Now he was smiling at her again, wrapping his hands around her arms to comfort them both. Andy decided he needed to lighten up the mood between them so he teased her by saying, "So, what about cooking now? I'm very good, you know? You chose the right person to teach you!"  
She rolled her eyes and questioned him, "Aren't you just showing off now?"  
"Just a little bit, but let a man have his fun!"

The next few hours were spent laughing and several times Andy wrapped his arms around Sharon's to guide her through the cooking process. She knew it was wrong to feel so comfortable and happy to have him there helping and getting so close, but she couldn't help but let her emotions show. Every time Andy was close it gave her goosebumps and heat spread throughout her body.

As they were finishing up Sharon looked satisfied and said, "Well we ended up making a good dinner, after all!"

"Excuse me, we? I did all the cooking" Andy replied surprised.

"And I set the table. You wanted to just put the food on plates and serve as is?" it was her Darth Raydor coming out, although she had a smile upon her face while speaking.

Andy countered back with his own grin and said, "My apologies, _ma'am_! You did an excellent job there"

"I hope Jack will like it too!"

Andy became serious again. As his smile disappeared he asked, "Is he good to you?"

"What you mean by _good_?"

"Is he making you feel pressured to…"Andy knew he was overstepping his bounds by asking her that but he couldn't stop himself, he wanted to know what Jack was up to.

"I am not discussing this with you! It's my private life with my husband. I am not-" Sharon understood what he meant and also why he asked "He's not making me feel pressured about anything. He's just, frustrated with the situation too. It's not easy for anyone. But he is good, don't worry!"

"Why don't you go get changed into something else and I finish putting the rest of these in the dishwasher?" Andy said knowing that was all she was going to say on the subject of Jack.

Sharon was excited about the dinner that she and Andy had made. She saw it as a chance to be alone with Jack and talk with him a bit more. She wanted to get to know him better and become more intimately comfortable with him. Rusty had messaged he was going out with someone named Gus. Sharon wasn't sure who he was and made a note to ask about him in the upcoming days.

"Is it ruined?" Sharon was frustrated. Two hours had passed since they made dinner and hadn't heard anything from Jack. She tried to call him several times but his phone went straight to voicemail.

"No, it will just need to be warmed up a bit, but it's still good. I'm sure he got stuck in traffic or something." Andy was trying to be comforting but he knew Jack well enough to imagine that he was probably drinking his way through the night or paying some prostitute. When Sharon was dressed up and he had finished cleaning up the kitchen he thought about leaving but couldn't just go and leave her sitting alone and waiting for Jack, so he offered her to stay until the idiot had arrived home.

"Okay well it seems that my husband is too busy to give me a call so now we're going to reheat the food and have dinner here just the two of us" he could see her becoming angry and tried to calm her down.

"Good idea, I need to eat anyway. Better than fast food and definitely better company. I wasn't looking forward to spending the night with Dan!" he replied.

"Who is Dan?" she asked curious.

"An imaginary man at the fast-food that I just invented. The name inspired me to invent I had a date with him, so that way I'm not eating alone" he smiled hoping she'd forgive his little mocking.

Sharon laughed and said, "Andy, please. I'm already having a hard enough time with real people, don't introduce me also to imaginary ones!" she started to laugh more, letting uneasiness of the situation drift away.

During dinner he managed to make her laugh a few times, telling her funny stories about Provenza or playing up the funny, charming guy as he had been the entire afternoon. Sharon also learned that Andy have been an alcoholic, but he had been sober for more than 20 years now. After they ate he offered to make her coffee this time. "Well I'm not as good as you with coffee but it's not that bad, is it?" he sipped from his cup "I think I pushed the button too hard, you must show me how you do it!" he joked.

Sharon smiled. "Andy?" she paused and he waited for her to take a deep breath and ask "If Jack and I are married, why aren't there any photos of us? I have looked through three albums and all the pictures around the house and I haven't found one with him, or with our kids, or our wedding."

Andy didn't want to answer her. He didn't want to be the one to tell her that he hadn't been fully truthful with her the entire time. "Because…" he took a deep breath. He could decide to participate to Jack's lying and make something up or tell her the truth, which would probably devastate her. "I'm going to tell you why, but before I do can we go and sit on the couch?" he took her hand and guided her to the sofa.

Sharon wasn't sure of what was going to happen but she felt that it wasn't going to be good news. It took Andy a few minutes to find the right words. He opted for telling her the truth, but he also wanted to explain to her how her memory loss had forced everyone to participate in Jack's lies.

"Yes you and Jack married 30 years ago" he paused watching her in the eyes "but no, you're not married anymore! You divorced him 2 years ago and he is trying to…"

Realization hit Sharon and she interrupted him, "So that's why you wanted to know if he was being good to with me because we are not-" air seemed in short supply all of a sudden, she started to hyperventilate and feel sick. "Why? Why has nobody told? Why didn't Rusty... He told me not to trust everything he says. He did and I didn't understand!"

"Sharon." When he could see she was getting more worked up Andy repeated her name and started to explain, "Sharon look at me. We couldn't tell you the truth because the doctors have…"

"No Andy, you look at me!" she jumped up from the sofa. "I dressed up! I was willing to try and become more intimate with him because of his lies! He was taking advantage of me and he has played me like some sort of fool! I'm even more angry that you all didn't…" she moved away from him "Get out of my house!" she pointed to the door shouting. "Get out!"

Stubbornly Andy said back calmly, "You can scream, go lock yourself in your room. I'm not leaving!"

Through her tears Sharon repeated, "Andy get out, I don't want you here."

"No!" he said, still sitting on the sofa.

"Why? Why did you do this to me? You enjoy to see me crying?" her makeup was completely gone and she was crying bountiful tears.

Andy stood from the couch and raised his voice "You want to know why? Why, because YOU are my girlfriend!"

Sharon stopped crying and stood there looking at him, not saying a word. There was complete silence through the condo. After what had seemed an eternity, she turned on her heels and walked into her bedroom shutting the door loudly behind her.  
Andy didn't know what to do. He could go to the bedroom and try to make up with her, or stay on the couch and wait until she came out. He couldn't think of what to do, only certain that he wouldn't leave the house.

The morning after, when Rusty came back home, he found dishes on the table and Andy sitting with his back against Sharon's bedroom door. "Andy? What happened?" he whispered.

"I screwed up, kid! I screwed everything up!"


	4. Chapter 4

After offering him a cup of coffee and making him some eggs for breakfast, Rusty had sent Andy home to get changed and go to work and promised he would try to deal with Sharon and the mess he had helped to create.

He knocked gently on the door, "Sharon? Sharon it's Rusty, may I come in?" there was no response from inside. Rusty tried to slowly open the door but something was blocking it. He thought she might have put a chair to prevent Andy from entering it the night before. "Sharon please, let me in. I made breakfast. Can we eat something together? Please!". After his third attempt to enter, Rusty decided to just sit down with his back on the door as he had found Andy earlier and kept talking to her, even if had no reply from the other part. "I know how you feel. Andy told me… I know you feel left out, you feel betrayed and you don't know who to trust. But you can trust me. You can. Like I did with you, right? I can trust you, no?" there was still no sign of any answer from her and Rusty continued "Sharon we're a family, maybe you don't remember now but we're a family and I trust you, so please trust me when I say that what we did was in your best interest and meant no harm to you. Sharon?" he stopped talking for a few minutes to listen, he could hear some noise from inside the room, maybe she was up walking. The door opened suddenly and Rusty fell with his back on the floor.

"It was in my interest to let me believe that my life is with Jack?" she asked angry and walked back to her bed, sitting and wrapping a pillow in her arms.

Rusty stood up and walked over the the bed "No. Of course it wasn't good to do that. But Sharon didn't I warn you not to believe everything he said?" he paused waiting a reply. From the pale light of the day entering the closed curtains he could see she had been crying all night. "The doctors told us to help you remember, not just telling you outright. I tried to make you understand. Emily tried and Ricky did too. Who do you think put those photo albums there? That's not their place. You keep them all in a box…"

"In my closet!" she said, happy to recall anything even as small as it was.

"Yes! Yes you do. See? You're remembering little by little, simple things" Rusty sat next to her on the bed.

"Why don't I remember of being with Andy? Or not being with Jack? Or…" she threw aside the pillow and took her legs to her breasts. Rusty placed a hand on her arm. "Jack is out with some other woman, isn't he?" Rusty didn't know and he would have want to have a better answer too but he just didn't say a word. "Or drinking!"

"Yes Sharon, these are all really bad things and maybe he's doing them or maybe not, but see? You are remembering his habits" he said, trying to make her realize that her memory was in fact coming back.

"It gives me no consolation to remember that my husband… _ex_ -husband never had respect for me or our marriage and cheated on me repeatedly. I also remember that I forgave him on many different occasions when he promised he wouldn't do it again" she sounded hurt but at same time angry too.

Rusty felt bad that she had to go through Jack's infidelity once again, but he was also happy to slowly get his mom back. "What else do you remember about him?"

"That he made a habit of disappointing me by disappearing from his children's lives" while saying this, Sharon bowed her head. "As a father he's been a worse man than he was as a husband."

"But for your children you've been a better mother than he was a bad father. You were there. You never abandoned them and you always gave them your best. Us, you gave your best to me too. At the same time I gained a mother and a friend and you made me understand that if my own mother didn't want me around her it wasn't my fault, and that I'm worth it!" Rusty felt the impulse to hug her and didn't know if she would reject him or not but he had to try. Sharon didn't reject him at all, but instead she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and closed her eyes letting few more tears to fall down.

She had been crying the whole night, listening to Andy talk to her. He never once stopped to let her know he was there, not leaving her nor abandoning her. The entire night she had imagined him sitting on the floor, with his back against the door, while at the same time where she was sitting on the other side leaning against the same spot. She imagined his head touching the wood of the door at the exact point where hers was only from the other side. Only a door to separate them. Only that door kept them from being in the same room, on the floor together and talking. She heard him talking for the whole night, trying to reassure her that all he had tried to do was to keep her calm and let her understand little by little, that he had wanted to put the divorce papers on the desk, so that she discover them on her own and read them. That he had hoped Jack wouldn't come back so he could have more time with her and how hard he had to resist taking her in his arms and kissing her to remind her of him, of their story, and their love. Sharon had been sitting the whole night, listening to those words, and crying at each one of them because she had started to remember. Remember the scent of his cologne, the way his soft, grey hair felt, and how much she enjoyed sitting on that couch and listening to him complain about some stupid crime movie making it all look like cops are stupid with no clue about what's going on with the case. She even remembered that once she told him she preferred bouquets of flowers with many colors rather than just red roses. The next thing she knew he had brought her the most brightly colored bouquet she had ever seen. Somewhere in the back of her mind Sharon recalled that he loved purple and so did she, which was why Andy was wearing his purple shirt that evening and he looked really amazing in it. All these things had come back to her memory by simply being around him, smelling the flowers, and his perfume, hearing his laugh, and seeing his smile. But everyone had let Jack play his game and she thought it was wrong having feelings for Andy. Sharon had tried the whole evening to suppress them and focus on being beautiful only for her husband. All of it was a lie. Sharon was hurt and unsure if she could have ever forgive Andy for this. She let her pride take the lead on this one and for the moment it was better to hold to that and let it guide her through next steps.

Sharon wiped away her last few tears "I have my first meeting with the psychologist today. A very good way to start, I suppose."

"You might have to talk a bit, but it will be good for you!" Rusty offered, "I can drive you if you'd like!"

"Yes, and then.. I want to go down to the precinct. I work there right? That wasn't a lie, was it?"

"No, it wasn't and yes, you're a captain of the LAPD. Maybe we should ask your doctor if it's okay for you to go there, though. Might be too soon?"

"I want to go. Either you drive me or I'll find a way" Sharon stood up and took a deep breath.

"Yes, _Captain_! As you wish" he smiled at her. Rusty felt like that conversation had done good to the both of them. It hadn't been hard only for Sharon, but for him as well to stand to Jack's lies, not say a word, and not to kick him out. "What you want to do with Jack?" he then asked.

"Nothing. We will change the locks on the door and kick him out. He doesn't belong here. This isn't his home anymore and I don't need him around. Especially if he's drunk!" she grabbed a suitcase and started to open the drawers, stuffing all his clothing into it. "This is the last time he's playing me. I'm done with him!"

While Sharon was taking care of his belongings, Rusty found a locksmith's number to call. About an hour after the locks were changed and they gotten ready to leave, someone started knocking at the door in an attempt to enter. "Sharon. Rusty. My keys don't work… open the door!" he kept knocking at the door.

Sharon took a deep breath and gestured to Rusty to put his jacket on and get ready to leave the condo. She inhaled and exhaled again before quickly opening the door and getting herself and Rusty out before Jack could get in. She threw the bag at his feet and closed the door behind her. "Where… wha..? What is this Sharon? Help me I can't.. I need to sleep" Jack was trying to cover his eyes from the daylight entering from the windows in the hallway.

"What you need, Jack, is a meeting and to get in rehab. You're drunk. Smell awful… and a liar, and I'm done with you Jackson Raydor. I am completely done with you and your problems. It's over since a long time, Jack but now it's really over and I don't want to see you again here." She was strict and didn't even let him breath while speaking to him. "Get your stuff and disappear… I remember you're an expert in this!" she walked away from him to the elevator "And if you'll still be here when we come back, I'll have you arrested!". Entering the elevator Sharon let out a deep breath and she felt like a heavy weight was finally taken off her heart.

Meeting with the psychologist today hadn't been such a bad idea, after all. She felt much better after her session. There had also been a lot of progress that she made on her own already, with the help of the doctor it could only get better faster. Sharon entered the car with a smile, satisfied that some bricks of the wall that had formed in her head had been taken down, but as soon as they approached to the precinct, something started her anxiety again. "Everything's alright, Sharon?" Rusty asked.

"Yes. It's… he's going to be there!" she said

Rusty knew exactly who Sharon was talking about and tried to reassure her, "You will have to face him one of these days. Just remember all we said early this morning. It's gonna be alright, and I'll be there by your side, okay?"

"Remember… you all want me to remember. That's the hardest part!" Sharon tried to joke on the situation, but she was nervous and her hands were shaking. She admitted to herself that she had wanted to see Andy, and that he probably was the only one who could have calm her down, but she also was still so mad at him that she felt conflicted about seeing him.

She wasn't sure how she would handle her situation with Andy. She didn't know how to approach to him or if she would just ignore him completely, but all seemed to become clearer as they entered the Major Crimes room.

" _Because your idea is idiocy and we're losing focus and time on what's really important."_

" _I can't with you and your stupid precious time, we're questioning the integrity of the alibi and have to check but no you've to hurry because…"_

"I thought you said you would wait for me to return before to go ahead with your plan, so I wouldn't miss it!" Sharon interrupted the little fight between Andy and Provenza. She was standing by the door with a smile.

" _Captain_!" Provenza was happy to see her for once. "How are you doing, Sharon?"

"I'm doing good, ehm… Lieutenant Provenza?" she looked at Andy as to make sure she wasn't getting his name wrong. Andy nodded with a little smile.

Everyone approached to hug her for a few seconds and Sharon said their names to help her try and remember them. "I thought I came in to visit and see the… oh my God what is that?" she instinctively closed her eyes when she saw a picture on the white board.

"It's for the case we are following… it's Buzz put that thing down!" Andy stood close in front of her blocking her view with his figure. "Making an impression, huh? It happens still now sometimes. I guess you never get used to those images." His voice was soft and spreading to her ears.

"Andy.." Sharon whispered

"Oh, sorry am I smothering you?" he hadn't noticed how he was wrapping his arms around her body and pressing her head against his chest.

"No. I mean yes but it's not that… did you identify the victim?" she asked

"No, why?" Provenza was curious.

Sharon unleashed from Andy's grip and went close to the board. "Sorry, Captain this thing is stuck again!" Buzz was still trying to make the screen to scroll over the board.

"It's alright Buzz, don't worry. Here, Lieutenant." Sharon walked closer to the picture "This looks like a bracelet. One of those of a confraternity, maybe?"

"Welcome back, Captain! What an eye!" as far as Sharon could remember that was the first time Provenza had complimented to her.

"I just focused on something else that wasn't the burnt skin of the arm". Something felt uncomfortable. Noticing that detail was good but it also meant that another young man or woman had died and in a very brutal way. From the outside their job wasn't something to be liked at all. But somehow that place felt to her more like home than her real home had been in the past days.

"It's good to have you back here. I wanted to call you later and check how you…"  
"Andy not now! I want to go to my office for a while" she cut him off. Sharon wasn't ready to talk to him, yet. She knew she would have to, but later. She walked quickly to her office and opened the closed door. "What… happened here?" her office was all a mess. Papers everywhere, broken frames glasses on the floor.  
"What do you remember about the last time you were here?" Provenza asked.  
"Not much, why?" she replied  
"Maybe you should sit down. We need to talk!" Andy took her hand and walked her to his desk chair.

For a few moments, everything seemed go back to the days spent in the hospital: sitting with people around her and being scrutinized and questioned. It seemed she was missing something important about her office being turned upside down, something that probably had to do with her temporary amnesia, something in that moment seemed very important to remember but she couldn't.

Last she knew was Andy's eyes set on hers and then it went all _dark_.


	5. Chapter 5

When she woke up she could recognize again all the sounds and that smell: she knew she was at the hospital again. A needle in her arm was dropping the medicine and she could feel the intensity of her heart beating from the machine. Sharon could hear voices in the background whispering. Slowly opening her eyes she said, "Please, don't keep me out of the conversation if it's about me"

"Oh it wasn't about you, _sleeping beauty_. We were discussing my accommodation for the night. You can imagine I'm going to handcuff the both of us to this bed if needed," Andy went closer to her giving a kiss on her forehead.

After her decision to ignore the doctors suggestions and she had went to the workplace anyway, Sharon had regretted that decision. It ended up bringing her into a series of questions she didn't know how to answer and a following panic attack that lead to her fainting. They had brought her immediately to the hospital again, and Andy insisted they at least kept her overnight for observation. "I am not sure I want you around me, yet!" she replied to him trying to sound still angry. In her heart, Sharon had already forgiven Andy for his omissions of the real truth, but she needed to prove him a point.

"And it's why I was discussing it with your doctors and not with you. I knew you wouldn't want me here, or to be yourself, so I thought to go over you and talk to them!" He had that alluring smile that irritated Sharon so much. It was the smile that meant _I know you'll be pissed but I'm doing it the same_.

"As your boss you should be doing what I command you!" she underlined with her tone.

"Well, technically you were at work as visitor not as boss. If you look at the clock the working hours are also over so here you're only Sharon Raydor, my girlfriend. Now if we want to be really picky on things I'm older than you so I've first dibs on decisions according to a rule that I just made, and we both know how much you like to follow the rules. So are you ready to break a rule, _Captain_?" She wanted to say something in reply but nothing smart came up to her mind, so it left her speechless. He won that, she couldn't break a rule, even if was one just invented at the moment.

The team arrived to see how she was doing and stayed with her a little bit longer the visiting hours to make sure she was doing fine, but at some point it was time to go and after greeting everyone Provenza approached her, "If he does anything, even just talking too much, give me a call and I'll arrest him!" Sharon knew he was joking but would seriously take in consideration the offer if it happened. After everyone was gone, she was left in the room alone with Andy and for the first time it felt an uncomfortable situation.

She broke the silent first, "Look, Andy. I don't want you to stay here for me. I don't need you for that. You can go home and I promise you I will not try to run away"

"There is nothing that you can say Sharon, that will make me leave. I don't mind sitting in a chair the whole night, or even sleep on the floor. I'm not taking my eyes off of you, for any reason really. Besides is a very good view." He gave her that smile again, "I couldn't ask for a better one." Andy took hold of her hand and Sharon's first instinct was to pull it away, but he didn't give up easily and was determined to get her forgiveness for what he had been hiding in the past weeks. "So now, I'm going to ask that very nice nurse out there to keep an eye on you, while I go and grab a coffee and something to read and then I'll be back. Then you can decide to ignore me or yell at me, whichever you prefer, but I will not leave. Well, except for now that I'm going to do it but I'll be back" he winked and kissed her hand.

When Andy left she saw him talking to the nurse who entered immediately after he disappeared from her sight. "You really don't have to babysit me while he's gone. I'm really not going to leave the bed!" she told the nurse.

"It's not a problem ma'am. I need to check the machines anyway. Your husband seemed pretty firm that…"

"He's not my husband!" Sharon interrupted the nurse immediately. It really wasn't important for the people to know if he was or was not her husband, but the words came out of her mouth without her thinking about it.

"Oh I'm sorry I thought…" the nurse was embarrassed.

"Did he tell you he's my husband?" she insisted realizing she was raising her voice in anger.

"No, actually he didn't. I just assumed as he's going to…" the nurse pretended to be checking the monitor as a distraction. "It doesn't matter anyway, he wanted someone to never leave the room when he's not here!"

Sharon wouldn't know what Andy said to others, and they didn't seem to want to reveal it but it was something she needed to clarify with him. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a message on her phone. She picked it up from the nightstand on her right and saw a message from Rusty: _Home safe, no Jack, one less worry to you. Sleep well_. She told him to let her know when he arrived home to be sure he got there safe, but she had forgot that they left Jack standing at the front door. That was another situation she needed to clear with herself first and her children too, to make them understand she didn't want to get involved with her ex any longer.

The time that Andy was away seemed very long to her. She didn't want him to stay and she didn't want him to leave either. Sharon thoughts were conflicted, that he was being invasive insisting on staying for the night with her, but also she found it incredibly sweet that he would threaten to be handcuffed to the bed. She found herself thinking about _Love_ for the first time since everything had happened, and tried to remember if Andy already expressed his feelings with her and if she did with him, but those memories didn't come to her mind.  
Sharon put her head on the pillows and closed her eyes, trying to remember anything from her past. Most importantly she tried to remember why her office was upside down and what had happened before her memory loss. She was so focused on that task that she didn't even hear the door opening. When Andy entered and went to hold her hand, she jumped a little, "Sorry did I wake you up?" he said.

"No, I was trying to remember something," she replied with a little smile that vanish immediately as she sit back on the bed.

"Oh I like this game, let's play together. What was it you wanted to remember?" he sat on the chair next to the bed and moved closer to it.

"Actually, I wasn't focusing on anything in particular. I just wanted a memory to start from there and go back to anything related to it," her voice was sad. Sharon felt a total failure and after the positive response she had in the morning with her therapist, it felt very upsetting to not even remember what they had been discussing about that same day.

"Well, what about we start it together? Like I say a word and you try to remember anything from there? Like flowers, or coffee or how handsome Andy looks…" he smiled.

For that moment, Sharon let herself laugh at his silliness. "Thank you, Andy! You're patient with me and that's important but you also are so incredibly stubborn."

"And that's my most wonderful quality. Isn't it the reason why you liked me?" he hinted but Sharon didn't know. She didn't know if it was the way he looked in a suit, the stubbornness or anything else she couldn't remember, or maybe none of those.

She took time to think before replying, "Honestly? I don't know. At the moment, it's irritating me that you're stubborn, but I'm thankful for it because you didn't leave me alone and this tells me that…" she started to blush.

"Tells you what?" he questioned her.  
"Tells me that you might have some serious feelings for me, and I don't know if I feel the same for you?! It's all so confusing!" She admitted and the words came out of her mouth so fast like she wanted to say them but was hoping he wouldn't understand a thing of what she was saying.

"Umm… well, I guess that if your instinct tells you that about me then it must be true. One thing I'm sure is that I love..." he paused for a second teasing her and watching her eyebrows getting closer, meaning she was curious, "how you cut your hair, it's really looking good on you!"  
Sharon gave him a soft slap on his arm "Yes, you're very irritating!" she said pretending to be angry.

Andy started to laugh, "I know. I'm irresistible. But see I made a promise to the kid, not to make you worry and spend a quiet night. If I don't do that, I've the feeling he will try to kill me or something. Then if that happens then the team has a new murder to investigate, and they will hate me and you will worry because your kid is the killer. So it's all on me!" he shrugged and took her hand again, but this time Sharon didn't pull it away and instead hold the grip more firmly.

"Your poor shoulders. Everything's on you! I shall try not to make them assassinate you then. What about watching some tv? Or reading some news or just basic talking, maybe? About… I don't know, anything like…" she took few seconds to think to a subject. "My favorite flowers, or perfume or maybe what happened to me and my office, something like that!"

Andy knew he'd have to talk to her about it at some point, but was hoping to leave it all for another time. He also knew Sharon though, well enough to know that she wouldn't have let it go that easily so it was probably better to get it out now that she asked for it. "Okay, but as soon as I'll hear that nice soft _beep_ going faster or flat, we stop immediately talking about it" he was very serious about that.

"If it goes flat, I don't think you've much choice than stopping as it means I'm dead!" she meant to be sarcastic but it didn't even make Andy smile.

"That is not funny! Don't even say that. You can't leave me, not yet. I just found you," he said getting closer again.

 _Just found_? She tried to remember how long they had been together. "Okay, I will do my best not to die. Can't make promises, though I'll try hard. What you mean with _just found_? How long have we been together?"  
"Oh that's an excellent question. There's different currents of opinion on this. Your kid and my daughter th…" he was interrupted.  
"Your daughter? You've a daughter?"  
"Yes, Nicole, and a son, Charlie. But he didn't make any opinion." He paused to wait any reply from her and then continued when there wasn't one. "Your kid and my daughter think that we're dating for three years already. That might be slightly my fault with her as I have kinda let her understand that it was so." Andy waited for another reaction again but he only saw her right eyebrow bending. "It's a funny story for another moment. Anyway, officially we're dating since almost a year. For me, a little bit more because I started this relationship a little before you did, but that's on me not you!"

At this last sentence he got a response "What you mean you started it before? Wasn't I married before?" Sharon asked.  
"Yes you were and it's why I started it before and you didn't. It started at my daughter's wedding. It's not like we started to date back then, but then I started to feel something more for you, different than just a good working relationship. Makes sense?" he was hoping that the goofiness of his previous speech made her laugh more than getting angry.

"Yeah I guess it does. You're saying you understood you had feelings for me before I did, right?" Sharon looked at the conversation from the outside, seeing his body as being insecure and scared to mess up, while she was crossing her arms to get defensive. It was natural for her. Something she remembered of herself: she always got defensive about pretty much anything, because she could count only on herself not to get hurt and be protective of her emotions. She was very good at creating walls between her and everyone else. Even letting Andy holding her hand made her feel like she was going defenseless.

"Yes. That's what I mean, and I still feel the same or even have stronger feelings for you, if possible." Andy knew which buttons to push to make her blush with compliments and such words. And he adored to see her cheeks getting red.  
"How far did we go?" she asked  
"Well, we arrived to my house. It's a bit distant from here. More distant than yours or the precinct" he joked.  
"Andy!" she put on a serious angry face. "You know what I mean. Did we…. you know… that!" she blushed again.  
"You see cases of rapes, murders and kidnappings everyday and can't say the word _sex_?" he was teasing her  
"Besides not remembering all these aspects of my job, I guess it's different talking about it related to it when I'm not involved in the act," she stated.

"Ah ah ah! Well, here is the thing: we did sleep together!" Sharon jumped to those words but let Andy finish before to say anything. "In the real meaning of the word. We did stay in a bed together, you in my arms. All dressed up." He stood up and got a glass of water, "This of course depends on who you ask. Because I spread around the voice that we're fully intimate, clearly. I have a reputation, you know!"  
"And I will confirm this even if we're questioned individually!" she continued with his joking.

"Good. I count on you! Look, Sharon. We discussed this and we decided to take it slow and let it happen when it happens. I don't want to push you doing anything you don't feel. I don't want to force it. At the moment, we need to focus on your recovery and anything else will come later. You fell for me once, I'll do everything I can for making you fall for me again." Andy's words sounded decisive and he looked sure of what he was saying. This time it didn't bother Sharon so much, instead she found his stubbornness to be sweet and at some level romantic. He was going to fight, like a real knight for his beloved _forgetful damsel_ , that's what he had called her the night before.

"Come sit here!" she patted twice on an empty space on the bed next to her. Andy sat there and she pulled him closer. They adjusted better for her to fit into his hug and him sitting more comfortable on the bed with her. "You don't need to make too much efforts. I have feelings for you since the first time I opened my eyes in a bed like this. It felt wrong having a husband but I couldn't help it. Last night too, when you were talking to me I remembered things and among all of this I remembered why I fell for you." She made herself more comfortable on his chest, and it didn't seem to bother him at all. A few seconds passed in silence, enjoying that moment fully.

"I thought it was my scent that got you all crazy for me!" Andy interrupted the beauty of the moment.

Sharon immediately pulled back, "On the chair, now!" she kicked him out of the bed.

"Yes, _Captain_!" he sat back on the chair and hold her hand again. "Thank you for trusting me. I know it wasn't easy thing to process and I'm grateful you're giving me a second chance!" he said on a more soft voice.

"I hope I will not regret it now" Sharon clasped her hand with his "But now I need help to recall what happened to me," she went serious.

The past few minutes talking had been easy for Andy and he had hoped she forgot about that subject, but Sharon was stubborn, and he knew that very well. She had made very clear since the beginning she intended to remember what happened. He could chose to jump to another argument again or get into that. Eventually they would have had to talk about it though and he figured it was the right time to do it. "It happened three nights ago, working late on a double homicide that had just turned to be much worse than we thought!" after Andy had started talking everything in Sharon's mind started to get more clear and drawing the scenes of what happened.


	6. Chapter 6

***WARNING the following contains detailed description that wasn't easy to write and also to read again. But it's a needed part for the story. Be conscious of what you're going to read.**

 _They had been working for weeks on the case, with false information given by anonymous calls to the Major Crimes Division. They started working opinions twice already, reconstructing every move of the suspect and recreating every possibility for that double homicide to happen, until they arrived to a very nasty discovery that included also a kidnapping of two minors. The victims were two young Latinos, and at first they had imagined a racial motive for a murder, but it led them the wrong way. They started from the basics again: a young couple of 25, she was from Mexico, while he had a mother from LA. It was determined that they weren't involved in any gang, with any drug dealer or anything. She was attending medical school and he was finishing his law school._

 _According to both families they had married young and moved into a condo in LA to finish school and raise their family. Everything seemed normal from the outside but in the inside, digging in their pasts, the team had discovered stories of abuse, incest and unwanted pregnancy. The girl, Tamara, had given birth to twins six months before being murdered with 25 stabs in her abdomen. Her young husband, James, was found tight to a chair, with eyes and mouth tape closed. He had been stabbed three times in the back and twice in his stomach then eventually strangled with a steel wire._

 _It was brutal and sign of something intentional. After weeks researching for anything to catch the murderer they had focus all their attentions on Tamara's brother, who had resulted in being the father of the twins and involved in a consensual relationship. Then Tamara met James and put an end to that incestuous relationship which made her brother very angry, so much to bring him, several years after, to abuse of her during a night causing her to become pregnant. What the families had described as 'moving to Los Angeles for their studies' had really been, 'running away from their families to finish school and raise the twins as their own'. Six months after, that dream broke and two young lives were put to an end, but what about the two twins? Nobody could find the babies._

 _They had investigated and questioned the brother so many times. He continued to say he did not know where his nephews had gone. At some point it was revealed to him they were his own children and he did not have a single reaction to the news, most likely he already knew but his obsession was Tamara. They didn't have much evidence against him, but after days of researching Tao had noticed one single detail that changed everything._

 _Browsing through Tamara's facebook account, in search for anything to help them, she had posted photos of their new condo. Compared with the photos of the crime scene, one frame on the table at the entrance had been moved and that frame was the killer's wrong move. He had pressed his lips in a kiss on Tamara's side of that photo, leaving DNA on it that resulted being from Brandon, her brother, making his alibi of being in a casino in Nevada to be unsteady. They later found he had paid someone to use his cards there and make it seem like he was playing for the whole weekend._

Sharon seemed exhausted from the whole story. They had worked together as Andy spoke few words and she completed his sentence with the facts. She was starting to remember, but remembering all that was painful twice: the first time she followed the case, and now again as it all came back. "Don't stop, Andy! It's coming all together in my head," she said.

 _After finally confessing what he had done and admitting it was for jealousy because of his sister choice to leave him for another man, Brandon made clear that he only intended to kill James but Tamara got in between and he stabbed her because of his anger. To his own words he loved her more than anything else, and if she couldn't be his she wouldn't be any other. This admission still wasn't clear where the babies had gone and Brandon claimed to never have touched them. He didn't care of them he only wanted her._

"And then the day of your accident we…" Andy was going on  
"…found the babies." Continued Sharon, "buried alive in the construction site Brandon was working on," Andy nodded. It was a devastating revelation to Sharon. As a woman she felt disgusted to the image of finding two babies of six months buried, for a mistake their own biological parents had done. As a mother she felt angry and sick, all emotions were mixed in her heart, because this was a side of her she could never hide at work, the compassion of a mother for such a terrible situation. In any of their cases involving a mother and her child, when wrapping it up, Sharon's habit had been to come back home to Rusty and hug him for countless minutes, without saying anything, because she needed that physical contact of mother and son. At the beginning, for Rusty it was weird and he would ask why, but after a few times he understood she only needed to be hugged back. "Those poor babies," a tear fell down her left cheek.

Andy was afraid all this would make her heart beat go crazy. He was watching her vitals and instead it looked pretty steady, it seemed like it was a normal day at work for them discussing the case and coming up with theories, when everyone was angry for what had happened but no one ever showed it. Monitoring Sharon during this conversation, felt for Andy as if he was looking at her soul as glass and through it he could see anything, she was feeling crystal clear.

"You remember what happened next?" he asked.

"Brandon was in interview room. We notified him we found the bodies, then he went mad and… no we came out. Buzz had to show us a video he found, but we never saw that video right?" Andy nodded. "We were going to his desk but then happened something…" Sharon tried to remember but needed some help from Andy.

 _Those few moments Brandon was left alone with his lawyer and a guard, he faked a pain and when the guard went close to check he had stolen his gun and ordered him to take off the handcuffs. His lawyer had tried to run out but Brandon had shot him first and the guard after. His plan was to get out of there treating to shoot anyone in his way. By the moment he came out of interview room, they all had their guns aimed at him, but unfortunately Rusty was walking with Taylor and were taken hostage by him. Sharon had ordered everyone to put their guns down and Brandon forced her, Taylor and Rusty into her office, locking themselves inside._

"We tried to have him put down the gun, but he wouldn't do it!" now Sharon was crying. In her memory it was connecting everything and suddenly she remembered another detail "Taylor! Oh my God, Andy. Where is he?" Among all the people she had met at work or went visiting her, Chief Taylor had never been one of them. He never called. He never was here to see her.

"He's still in intensive care. He had surgery twice already!" Andy replied.

 _In the chaos of everything, while Sharon and Chief Taylor attempted to take Brandon's gun and keep Rusty safe, they have fought with him, both unarmed. From outside the office Provenza was screaming he had no way to get out of there, causing Brandon to get more and more angry. He started to throw everything he found in his way: all Sharon's frames from the desk were thrown on the floor,_ _breaking next were all her papers_ _. Her primary preoccupation was Rusty being held by Brandon, she could not risk him to be injured or killed._

 _It had passed an hour already, with Sharon trying to talk to him like a mother, more than a captain of police, and trying to make it seem like she understood completely why he had to kill Tamara, her husband and the kids. But eventually, Taylor made a wrong step by trying to get closer to him and Brandon had shot him twice in his chest. Following the shoots, they break into Sharon's office to find Rusty on Taylor's body trying to stop the bleeding from his wounds and Sharon fighting with Brandon to take the gun._

"After he shot Taylor, Rusty trod on his foot. I was trying to disarm him" in her voice Andy perceived a tone of disappointment, in her abilities probably, or maybe she felt responsible for Taylor's injuries since she had ordered everyone to put down their guns and left theirs out of the office. But as a mother, she wanted to save her child.

"It was just a matter of seconds. After we burst into the room, he pushed you hard and you hit your head against the desk. There was a lot of bleeding and I thought I'd lose you!" Andy kissed her hand. He closed his eyes and didn't let go for a bit.

"What happened to Brandon?" Sharon asked. She couldn't know what happened after she got hurt, but had imagined that after having killed a guard, his lawyer and shot to a police officer it wasn't going to be easy on him.

"He tried to shoot us and we shot him first." Andy didn't say more but Sharon just knew he had died. So the case had wrapped to a couple brutally murdered, two babies buried alive and their killer shot by the police after committing more murders and an attempted one. Not the conclusion they had wanted, but a conclusion nevertheless.

"I let my mother instinct prevailing and look where we are?" Sharon was disappointed in herself, but when it was about her children she immediately stopped being _Captain Sharon Raydor_ and be simply _Sharon_ and with Rusty involved this distinction had often shown.

"Anyone of us would have acted like this, even if Rusty isn't our kid. If my son was involved into that I would have sold the guy my soul to save my son's life! You acted good and like any of us would have. Like Chief Taylor would have too. You're not responsible for this. You did your job fine, no great and for what it values, I wish I was the one in that bed right now. You really scared me, you know?" Andy stood up and pressed his forehead against hers.

For how weird it could seem, telling her the truth had made her calmer and feeling better. Being able to control her memory and feelings, was something important to Sharon and for Andy was important to make her at peace.

"You gained your place back on the bed with me. So would you sleep with me again, _Lieutenant_?" Sharon didn't really wait for a reply and pulled him down to lay on the bed with her. He took his space and she put her head on his heart. "Thank you, Andy. You helped me, and you said the truth," he moaned with his eyes closed. "And I'm glad you insisted on staying, I feel protected with you!"

Sharon closed her eyes too, taking a deep breath and inhaling his scent. "Haven't I told you already?" he whispered, "I'm with the good guys, after all!"

They both smiled lightly, in the arms of the other, letting the exhaustion of those days to knock them into a deep sleep and feeling like any noise or light from the outside vanished. Leaving just two souls in love to protect each other.

− **FIN –**

 _ **I would like to thank you ALL for reading, and reviewing and showing so much appreciation for this story. I'm overwhelmed. A big shout out thanks to**_ _ **Narcissanerea, gingersnapped907 & Kadi219**_ _ **, for their patience with my mistakes and also explaining me the correct ways of saying this or that. And you all, readers, you've been fantastic and supportive and, who knows maybe I'll write again! THANK YOU!**_


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